


the end of fear is where we begin

by larienelengasse



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Requited Love, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-30
Updated: 2013-07-30
Packaged: 2017-12-21 20:08:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/904373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larienelengasse/pseuds/larienelengasse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>History is written in books and the lives of those who live inside it. It’s full of epic battles, of small victories, of important men and women and those more ordinary. History is grand and sweeping, but it’s also small and intimate. Sam and Dean’s history is written in blood, sweat and each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the end of fear is where we begin

**Author's Note:**

> For my friend, [](http://maerhys.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://maerhys.livejournal.com/)**maerhys** , but also for anyone who loves romance as much as I do. Happy romance day, from me to you, my friends. Though I think everyday should be romance day. Title from The Goo Goo Dolls’ “Let Love In.”

Title: the end of fear is where we begin  
Rating: MA (NC-17) for language and mature themes  
Characters: Sam/Dean  
Warnings: Angst, romance, Wincest  
Word count: 662  
Beta: me, myself, and I  
Feedback: Would be much appreciated.  
Author’s note: For my friend, [](http://maerhys.livejournal.com/profile)[**maerhys**](http://maerhys.livejournal.com/), but also for anyone who loves romance as much as I do. Happy romance day, from me to you, my friends. Though I think everyday should be romance day. Title from The Goo Goo Dolls’ “Let Love In.”

Disclaimer: Supernatural is the property of Eric Kripke and the CW; I’m just renting a little corner of their sandbox and doing things with their property that you can’t do on network TV.

Summary: History is written in books and the lives of those who live inside it. It’s full of epic battles, of small victories, of important men and women and those more ordinary. History is grand and sweeping, but it’s also small and intimate. Sam and Dean’s history is written in blood, sweat and each other.

He knows the skin beneath his hands, knows the breath, lips, and hair that he brushes his mouth through. Sam’s history is a book he knows from cover to cover, forward and back. It is a history of hurt, fear, pain, death, mourning, courage, strength, and love unlike any he has ever known.

A deep sigh, his name whispered as a lump forms in his throat.

“Sammy,” is all he can say, because words are never enough. Words don’t prove the way this does, the way he touches with his whole body, with hands, arms, chest, legs, lips. He wants to say that his life is better, is whole, is possible because of Sam, but words are never enough.

Sam’s large hands in his hair, long fingers carding through slowly. Sam’s soft lips on his ear, his face, his own mouth. Even moaning feels inadequate so he stops trying to prove and just does. He arches in Sam’s arms as his brother marks his throat. Groans as Sam moves inside him. Gives everything he has even though he’ll never believe it’s enough. Nothing is enough. Everything is inadequate. The earth, moon, and stars are not enough, not enough to show, prove, express how much he loves Sam.

Sam. His brother, his friend, his partner, his lover. Sam who knows him better than anyone, loves him more than he deserves. He’d go to the ends of the earth for Sam, to Heaven and Hell and everywhere in between for Sam.

Sam is how he can breathe, how he can move, how he can survive all the thousand hurts and shocks that life can deliver. Sam is what makes it all possible, makes it all worth it.

“Dean.”

It’s like Dean’s name is the only word that’s ever existed, a single pinpoint of bright perfect love. Dean means love, means safety, means that he’s whole, complete, that he matters, that he’s more than something dark inside. Dean means he’s human, that he can be good, that he can be everything that Dean wants him to be.

He moves inside Dean, wishing he could be all the way inside, wishing he could climb in and never come out, but live in love and safety and comfort. Because for all of Dean’s rough edges he’s so soft and warm inside and that inside is just for him, only for him.

He knows every mark on Dean’s body, every little hurt, every deep wound, every sacrifice and there have been so many. The way Dean moves on top of him is imprinted in his mind and bones and memory. The way Dean always gives so much, too much, without hesitation, without doubt. The way Dean gives tells Sam that he’s real, that he is more than the dark blood that pulses through his veins. The way Dean gives tells Sam that his history is more than a single night in a nursery in Kansas.

The rush of bodily rapture takes them both, that moment where they really do feel like one person, joined in pleasure, pain, time and space, where they are more than their bodies, their battles, their demons. They are Sam and Dean, they are all they have, all they’ll ever need.

“Dean.”

Dean kisses Sam and Sam smiles. Dean closes his eyes, reveling in this peace, in this love that is so right in spite of the rules, that is so sure and true and pure. Sam nuzzles his face and he smiles too as Sam wraps his arms around him.

History. It’s written in books. It’s also written in the minds, hearts, eyes, skin and bones. Dean’s history is written in Sam, just as Sam’s is written in Dean’s.

~Finis


End file.
